Film Retreat and my Birthday!

This weekend I went on our annual retreat to our Baca campus with my school church group. I can't begin to explain how much better I feel, spiritually and just in general. I got to spend time with my friends, and was welcomed back into the group as though I'd never left, which was a wonderful feeling all by itself. Our retreat focus this year was the Mass. I've gone to Mass my whole life, but going through it in all the parts and learning more and delving deeply into the essence of it and the changes that have been made since Vatican II. We got to color velvet crosses, and Ben and I worked together on two of them instead of doing them individually. He's a sweetheart, and he was a big reminder why I miss hanging out in this group. I also got a chance to meet the newer members of our community. I especially enjoyed having a long talk with Dan about being a graduate and still feeling comfortable and welcome, and like I needed to be part of a community, and it was even nicer to know that I'm not the only one. Don't get me wrong, I love going to church with my grandpa, but it's harder to feel part of a community when you don't really interact or even relate to most of the people there. Also, we went to the monastery in Crestone and experienced compline, which is evening prayer, and Benediction, which is exposition of the Blessed Sacrament and adoration. So amazing, I'd never been to such a thing before. One of the best parts of the retreat happened after that though. We pulled out the hymn books and Kevin brought out his guitar and we got to sing! I'm not great at singing by any means, but it's always been one of my favorite, most moving parts of any kind of worship. There was a large emphasis on the parts of the Mass that involve music, and it just felt so good to sing. I can actually sing quite well, or so it feels like, when I have someone to follow, and Lena was kind enough to indulge me. Then we went back to our townhouse and played Mafia, where I quickly relearned the game, learned that I'm good at being in the Mafia because I know how to bluff, and then was killed immediately in the last round. This morning came with another craft project, sort of. We made our own low-tech zen rock gardens with salt, glass stones, forks, and interlocking plastic plates. It's so relaxing to play with something so simple and reflect on the message of the day. I wish I had a schedule where I could go to daily Mass and participate in the activities that the community has always done that I love. Belltower prayer, lexio, dinner and discussion, and of course our evening Mass every Sunday. It's just frustrating that I can't be there with that feeling of belonging. I want to go back up there, as soon as I can.

The other noteworthy thing about today is that it's my 24th birthday. I was glad to spend it with my friends, and even more glad that my family and all the friends I didn't get to see made a point of calling or messaging me to say Happy Birthday. I didn't expect any major recognition, but I'm glad I got it. It's always nice to feel loved. I don't care so much about the gifts, since there's not a lot I really want right now, but I did get asked what I wanted, and I expect some birthday cards in the mail this week, as well as some packages. 24 isn't a bad age to be, though I feel like I want to be further along in my life right now. Just some more incentive to save my money and go back to school. Happy Birthday to me, at any rate.