Frustration

Frustration. Feeling like I want to come home and just scream or cry or break things because I feel like I don't know where to turn or what to do anymore. I haven't felt this miserable in I don't know how long. Maybe not ever. I feel like I'm under the iron foot of a tyrannical monster every day when I walk into work. I need to get out of there so bad, I need to find something else that gives me a set schedule and a company that doesn't make demands that make me want to take a sword to work and decapitate people, particularly my bootlicker of a boss. She fawns over a company that isn't even that good. I dunno how many calls I get from people calling for us to fix our damn mistakes, and all I can do is apologize. I had one guy today tell me after I helped him that he was sorry to get off the phone with someone intelligent for once. Maybe I'm just whining, maybe I'm just taking it too personally (that's what my mom says, anyway) but it feels like the whole world is against me. Last night I was talking to a friend, and I told her what my future plans might be. She basically gave me a lecture that amounted to me being stupid and naive and that my goals are not practical. It's like she assumed that I'm walking around blind. I'm not stupid, I can see how difficult it will be to achieve my goals, but I don't need her to go puncture them so that I have no dreams at all. Is it too much to ask that I at least be given the chance to try and some encouragement? I mean, why bother living if you're just going to consign yourself to drudgery and settle for the minimum? Paying the bills is important, but in my opinion, so is not being miserable. I want to find something that makes me feel happy and fulfilled, and with any luck it'll pay the bills too. But is it really too much to ask to have some support and encouragement? My goals may change as I get older and wiser, but for now, they're all that's keeping me going. I'm working to get rid of my bills, and saving up money to go back to school. School is the place I've always felt happiest, and I want to go back, and eventually I want to be able to share that love of learning and of literature with others. That's my goal. With prayers, work, and determination, I can do it.